No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He kissed a someone with a penis
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
