there was a trapeze. enough said
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
