btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
