What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
