On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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