My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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