His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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