i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
