i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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