Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
