doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
