She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
