Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
