Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
