I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize