I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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