I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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