what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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