My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
