Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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