dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
