your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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