i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize