I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
