I wish I could punch you in the face.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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