i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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