I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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