i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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