either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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