I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That's intense
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
