I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
