Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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