it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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