Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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