it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
