No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
