I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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