This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
