wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
