so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
