its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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