I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
