yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
