Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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