YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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