How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
