Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
