You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
