I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
