Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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