Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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