I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
