kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You made out with two different species that night
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
