Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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