I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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