Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
