We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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