Duck Duck Cougar?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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