Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
