I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
