Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
