i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
