i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
