I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
